Zoo Headlines: Inspector Clouseau plays Amazing Race. Biloxi Prison security’s gone to the dogs.
Ugghh. Another week another episode of Zoo. Watching this show for laughs is getting harder, though we do learn that spooning out your pet’s eye will make it love you again. Right? Let’s take a moment to appreciate the episode title there. Can Zoo inherit some cred from Silence of the Lambs with a bad pun? No. Not at all.
Chloe and Clouseau! are in Slovenia, profiling the dogs and coming to the conclusion that they’re practicing.
Oz and Ducksauce have gone to Japan to track down Doctor Crazy’s stash of exposition and plot spoilers. They meet up with Dad’s 2nd wife, who turns out to have been his research assistant, and she flies them out to an island off Fukoshima where he had been conducting his research. Their landing is a little rough.
Mitch and Jamie clock up a few miles visiting New Orleans for not very good reasons, except perhaps to make it easier for Clouseau! to leap from the shadows and kidnap them.
New location! BILOXI! I see – we can get specific when it’s inside the continental U.S. but everywhere else can just go by their country name – the show is missing an opportunity here for social media competition – text what country <random place name> is in for a prize! In the Biloxi prison we get to meet soon to be executed Evan Lee Hartley (you can tell he’s in trouble with the law because we get all 3 names). He has droopy pupil just like the animals do, so that’s new. Maybe that’s why he didn’t turn zombie in the Walking Dead? The show spends a few scenes establishing his brand of animal sympathising crazy as we learn he took to murdering hunting parties and thus we know the wolves think he’s a righteous dude and deserves to be free of this cage. Luckily for Ev’L, he’s incarcerated at the prison with the weakest physical security and the lowest paid guards on the planet. These dudes can’t remember how to shoot, close doors, open doors or draw their weapons. They’re bang up at running away though.
Back in Japan, the plane seems to have been knocked so far off course by the bat swarm that it crashed in a little lake. But no, that waveless flat brown pond is supposed to be the Pacific Ocean. Ducksauce and Oz makes a brief attempt at CPR on step-mom except they forget the airway and cardio part, and give up after about 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes you’re meant to, so she dies. Top work fellas. Step-mom had given them some radiation monitoring devices. Battery powered ones with LCD screens – hmmm wouldn’t they have been better off with the non-mechanical ones that just change … oh never mind. The First-aid failures wander inland looking for the stash, and find a couple of friendly blinded horses. That’s cool, right? Yeesh.
At Dad’s lil cabin in the woods, they find some old film and lots of research materials, and Dad seems to have realised the cure to the animal rising is to simply REMOVE the eyeball that has droopy pupil! BRILLIANT! The crickets chirp at such a clanging revelation. Well in fact they don’t; there is no sound of cicadas, crickets, frogs no nothing. ALL the wee insects and animals suddenly realise they’ve been living in an irradiated wasteland ALL THEIR LIVES and collectively had a silent ‘oh shit!’ moment. Ducksauce understands and gets the bad news from their fritzing radiometers. Luckily Clouseau! leaps from the shadows and kidnaps them.
We are spared the chemical scouring showers that Oz’n’Ducksauce have no doubt sensibly taken, who would then safely dispose of their irradiated dirty clothing before changing into an identical set of filthy clothes and joining Mitch and Jamie in Clouseau!’s secret lair for the first team meeting of the animal anti-liberationists.
I have to say there were times in this episode that I was picking up my iPad and playing Fallout Shelter. This was a bit of a filler episode contrived to get the team together.
Seen it? What did you think? Leave a comment about the show or this article below.